How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
