You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
