We're facebook friends in real life
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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