But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
