I'm so fucking centered right now
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
