Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
