I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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