he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
