I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
