Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
