there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
