let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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