I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
