Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
