Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
