wrigley field is MILF paradise
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
