look no pants
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
