When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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