I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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