I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
now i know why i became what i already was.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
jump out the window naked night went bad
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
