I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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