the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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