Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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