I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
it's like heaven, but drunker
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
