I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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