I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
