For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
