Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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