Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
