Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
