In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
