Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
