Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
