i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
