I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
