I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
