Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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