After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
