Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
