is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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