Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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