Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
