She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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