I'll bet she douches with gravy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
