we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
