bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Did I show you my penis last night?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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