All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
