We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
this just has baby written all over it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
