how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
