we're chasing vodka with high fives
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
