True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
