This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
