think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
