Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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